Let’s talk about reframing the word “Selfish” to self-full, and the effects of reframing that can have in our relationships. We can think about the word in a couple of ways – towards the self, or one person towards another.
Let’s talk about reframing the word “Selfish” to self-full, and the effects of reframing that can have in our relationships. We can think about the word in a couple of ways – towards the self, or one person towards another.
Our habitual use of words programs our minds to think, speak and behave in specific ways. This programming is often unconscious and incongruent, causing conflict and stress. Selfishness comes from needs not communicated with the other person and can be a point of judgement. It’s about unmet expectations of ourselves - we haven’t stopped to think about them and communicate them.
“When feeling selfish, stop, recognize it and think - what if I were really being self-full instead? How would that impact my choices? It’s about honoring myself and knowing that. Patch my own holes. I’m a better person for it, nicer and kinder.”
One example to help explain this is the love bucket, both filling your own and others. When we allow the love to leak out of our own buckets, we get scattered, don’t sleep well, eat properly... and we allow outside things to trigger anger and frustration. It’s then the self-full part to recognize and patch your own bucket. Once we get to the point where we choose to keep it full, it helps give more out. We’re kinder and more respectful to self and others.
Imagine what our world would be like when people truly reframe that selfishness into self-fullness. To listen to their guts, intuition. To do the things that really feel their own love bucket. How amazing can we be when you and I and others do that.
Resources
Drama & Conflict in your relationship
Have You Filled My Bucket?: Daily Acts of Love Around the World
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